Sadly this Onionesque headline is real.

“We did not have a situation where someone was going around the school shooting,” Newport News police chief Drew told reporters. “We have a situation in one particular location where a gunshot was fired.”
“He added that the shooting was not an accident.” (Emphasis Medicynic)
“The student has since been taken into custody, and the teacher, a woman in her 30s, was taken to a local hospital to be treated for injuries that were “believed to be life-threatening”, according to the police department. Drew told reporters the teacher’s condition had improved somewhat by late afternoon.”
Medicynical Note: This really happened…..in…..America. WTF happened to us?
On the same day it was reported that 323 police were shot and 60 died in 2022 while 1400 people were shot and killed by police in 2022 and that since 2014 over 8000 people have been shot and killed by police.
Ironically, the people who made the killings possible and common, the people who gave us the “freedom” to kill, our conservative Supreme Court members, say that are “afraid” of people carrying guns near their homes.
And our brave police who should be leading the fight against gun violence, continue as a group to support deregulating gun ownership. They do this to the point of often refusing to enforce gun laws (Connecticut is just one example).
And we all live in fear. Welcome to America in 2023.